Splintered Stars
by entwined-in-thorns
Summary: For the first time in 8 million years, Sebastian feels something awaken deep within him, underneath his raging hunger, as a result of the murder of his mistress. Compassion? Empathy? The very thought disturbs him. And when he comes upon his master reincarnated, he is for once at a loss of what to do with the one who was the cause of such formidable emotions to swell within him.
1. Til Death Do Us Part

_Unrest and pain and sorrow are the shadows of life. There is no heart in all the world that has not felt the sting of pain, no mind that has not been tossed upon the dark waters of trouble, no eye that has not wept the hot, blinding tears of unspeakable anguish. There is no household where the Great Destroyers, disease and death, have not entered, severing heart from heart, and casting over all the dark pall of sorrow. In the strong, and apparently indestructible meshes of evil all are more or less fast caught, and pain, unhappiness, and misfortune wait upon mankind._

 _With the object of escaping, or in some way mitigating this overshadowing gloom, men and women rush blindly into innumerable devices, pathways by which they fondly hope to enter into a happiness which will not pass away. Such are the drunkard and the harlot, who revel in sensual excitements; such is the exclusive aesthete, who shuts himself out from the sorrows of the world, and surrounds himself with enervating luxuries; such is he who thirsts for wealth or fame, and subordinates all things to the achievement of that object; and such are they who seek consolation in the performance of religious rites._

 _And to all the happiness sought seems to come, and the soul, for a time, is lulled into a sweet security, and an intoxicating forgetfulness of the existence of evil; but the day of disease comes at last, or some great sorrow, temptation, or misfortune breaks suddenly in on the unfortified soul, and the fabric of its fancied happiness is torn to shreds._

 _ **-Lesson of Evil**_

* * *

' _Darkness…_

 _That's all there ever seemed to be around him._

 _Utter…darkness…_

 _I hoped…that at least – I could be his light…'_

* * *

The man clad in black stood frozen, luminous scarlet eyes wide with what - ? Shock? Horror? Disbelief?

A silken voice, crooning tone broken, called her.

 _"My lady..."_

Her chocolate hair was matted against pale, clammy cheeks in stained curls, a vibrant blue hair pin lost and crushed beneath careless heels. Her center was torn from womb to heart, ruining the stunning blue dress that fit her so well.

Slowly, the man sank to shaking knees, eyes wide. "My lady..."

Even now, the fragile girl held stubbornly on to life. He could see the gentle, but labored rise and fall of her chest, heavily lashed eyes fluttering. Dimming blue orbs stared up at him, a crooked smile on the girl's face as he came into view.

Gently scooping up the fallen woman into strong arms, a trembling hand dabbed a thin line of blood from full lips with a white handkerchief.

"You're...here, _Idarius_."

Her voice calling his given name soothed him unexpectedly, and yet, cause an irreparable rift to open somewhere deep within him.

His mistress...was dying. The butler took the thought into consideration as he swept limp curls away from her eyes, the girl still smiling up at him. She was dying before their contract had been completed. In the state she was in, there was no saving her.

Scarlet hues glowed a soft fuchsia, the demon's lips pulling back into what resembled a snarl. It was too early - her soul had not ripened enough, and yet here she was, the very life he had sworn himself to protect being snatched away. After all his hard work, after suffering the hunger, merely for the game of waiting, of denying himself, only to finally indulge when the time was finally right... It was all fading away, just like the light in her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

His attention returned to his mistress as she lifted a single bare hand to gently stroke his cheek. Her blood stained his skin, the smell as enticing as ever.

"This is my...fault. I'm sorry."

It didn't matter. Her words meant nothing to him at the moment. The only thing that matter - the incessant hunger that ate away at his very being as each second went by. Her hand shifted, her thumb gently touching his lower lip.

"I know you're angry at me, furious even."

Yes - he was angered. Exceedingly furious at the moment; and most of his anger was directed towards himself. He had left her side, had left her vulnerable. He didn't think...he didn't image for even one second that his meal could ever be snatched away from him, faster than he could reach her. And yet her she was, dying in his very arms.

"But...if I can protect you – then I'm not really sorry at all."

"My Lady..." His eyes widened a fraction, perplexed by her words. Protect him?

She beckoned him closer, and he could see that she was suffering now more than ever. He bent over her, protectively, possessively. Protecting what little left of her he could from the world around them.

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, her lips trembling in fear.

When she kissed him, it was like a knife to the heart.

It was regretful, and broken, and a goodbye.

He clung to the last vestiges of affection on her lips with a frightening intensity. Even when she pulled away, he clung to the last heat her lips held. Until her life was extinguished, she would still offer warmth to his slowly freezing heart.

His mistress closed her eyes, falling silent. She wasn't dead he knew, merely seemed to be resting. However – he barely had time to react as the hand that had cupped his face slipped away, and was suddenly thrust in front of his eyes. The mark of their contract, his mark, burned brightly on her palm.

"This is an order...the last one I shall give to you as my servant."

No, no, he wouldn't lose her. He would not lose his prey, his meal, his mistress, his _lady_ …

 _ **"Idarius...don't ever forget me."**_

A sudden unnatural gust of wind blasted him away from her, as powerful as the words the girl spoke. She collapsed back to the ground as she slipped out of his arms, letting out a painful groan.

" _My lady!"_

Cracking open her eyes, she looked at him from where she laid, a barrier separating the two. She could see a swirl of emotion raging in her demon's eyes; the fury, the undeniable hunger…and something else she couldn't place. Never had he looked at her like that, and she felt a pain in her chest, completely unrelated to her fatal injury. A shadow fell over her, the sound of a large pair of wings beating steadily above her. The smallest of smiles pulled at her mouth, her gaze softening as she looked at him.

"I'm sorry...I know how much you crave it," she whispered, her hand touching her chest, just above where her heart beat. "I'm cruel, I understand. But don't worry - someday, we'll meet again."

The demon snarled viciously, rage swelling up inside him as he watched the light further fade from her eyes, and trained on the one above her he had no doubt was the one responsible for this.

Her hand withdrew from her chest, and she reached out to him, her eyes once again filled with the strange warmth and adoration she always looked at him with. That despite knowing what he was, what his very purpose was being contracted to her, she still showed unabashed.

"We will meet again, and then...and then-..."

 _Idarius...maybe then, may I tell you how I really feel?_

Her outstretched hand fell to the floor, the light snuffed out of her eyes forever. Her heart stopped beating, and already her blood began to cool, at least, what had not already seeped out of her corpse.

The demon stood in disbelief, and he felt the tether that tied the two to each other snap.


	2. Some Kind of Miracle

Hurry, hurry...

My aching bare feet slapped against the cobblestones, my breath coming out in ragged gasps. I could hear them behind me, their shouts, the pounding of their boots as they chased after me. They wouldn't stop - they'd never stop, not until they finally caught me.

I sharply turned a corner, nearly slipping as I ran through a puddle of gutter water, but quickly regained my balance by clinging onto a wall, the skin of my fingertips being scraped raw. I hissed in pain as I pushed myself forward, tears streaming down my dirty cheeks. My tiny lungs heaved with effort, and it felt like I was going to collapse at any second.

Hurry, hurry...

I wouldn't go back there. Not again, not after having tasted freedom. I wouldn't allow myself to be chained down, abused and tortured like some animal. Not again...

Never again!

I let out a shriek at the top of my lungs, adrenaline pumping vigorously through my veins. I felt the wind blowing through my hair and felt the sunlight on my face. I wouldn't, couldn't allow myself to go back to that dark place.

But I couldn't keep running forever, I knew this all too well. But no one would stop to help me; no one would even glance my way, despite my pleading cries. I was alone.

 _'Lies. I'm not alone...They, they will help me. I just need to find them. My ange-...'_

A shot rang out, and I jolted as I felt something white hot blaze past my ear. I was now avoiding a hailstorm of bullets, but could hear the men behind me screaming at one another to not shoot to kill. If I was killed, most certainly they would follow me to the grave.

Was I that important, so important that they would not let me leave? Not let me live?

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, shaking my head vigorously as memories of that place flashed in my mind. I had been snatched, been taken from the one that cared for me...they had no right to keep me locked away!

I turned another corner, the long maze of London's alleyways making me dizzy. It seemed no matter how far I ran that I was never going to get out.

 _'Do not fret, dear one. The light will always snuff out the darkness. For it is unclean, and that which is unclean, will always be cleansed.'_

Their words came back to me, like a candle lighting up the night. I could see the light – it was like I was in a dark tunnel, and the light was the end. I stretched out my hand, and unlike the dreams that plagued me night after night, it didn't disappear. My surroundings gradually became lighter, and I grasped that light in my small hands. I was engulfed in it, the blinding light that wrapped itself around me like a mother wraps her arms around her child.

I was free, I was safe. I was... _free._

* * *

Hm?

The black-clad butler froze, crimson hues narrowing as a very familiar scent assaulted his acute senses.

"Sebastian, what is it?" The young earl stopped and turned, regarding his butler with a bored expression; he watched as the demon's eyes glowed a soft fuchsia, before fading back to their normal shade of dull crimson.

"Forgive me, my lord, but I'm – not quite certain myself," Sebastian mused, scanning the near empty street behind them. It was late in the afternoon, and the two had just come from visiting the Undertaker's shop for a recent case. The sun was beginning to set, casting its last few rays of light over London's rooftops. The butler turned, bowing slightly to his young master. "I apologize for getting distracted. Shall we be on our way? I have to start dinner preparations soon. Tonight will be freshwater lobster soufflé, and for dessert I have planned to make gateau chocolat," Sebastian said, a perfect smile spread over his features.

Ciel sighed, turning his back on the man. "Then let's hurry. I'm already getting hungry after today's work." He began walking once again, his cane tapping rhythmically against the cobblestones. The sound of a gunshot drew his attention, and he was quickly on alert as he heard the sounds of someone running towards him from a side alleyway they were passing.

"Sebastian!"

The butler was in front of the young boy in the blink of an eye, his hand shooting out to tightly grip the arm of the one who had suddenly come upon the two in a flurry of movement.

"No! Let go of me!"

Sebastian looked down at the girl flailing in his grasp, crimson orbs widening in disbelief. He reached out to grasp her other arm, holding her in a vise-like grip as he looked down at her. The girl thrashing in his arms was dressed in the tattered rags of what seemed to be a ceremonial robe and covered in dirt, but for him, there was no mistaking her. She was slender, with an exquisite little face with small features, very fair; loose flaxen ringlets, or rather golden, hung loose on her delicate neck; and eyes - her frightened, doe-like eyes were the color of warm honey struck by rays of sunlight. He had never met this child before - and yet... He could sense it, could tell clear as day. Merely by her smell – that her soul…

"Tch, Sebastian, let go of her," Ciel said in an irritant tone, exasperated by what he thought had been an attack. The child had probably just stolen something that didn't belong to her. In his eyes, there was no need for the two of them to get involved in commoner affairs. Seeing that his butler still held on firmly to the girl, almost as if he hadn't heard him, Ciel scowled up at the demon. "Sebastian, I ordered you to let go of her!"

Ciel's eye widened in shock as he saw the demon's eyes flash crimson, dark pupils turning to slits. His teeth were bared viciously as he continued to look down at the frightened girl still struggling in his grasp, his terrifying visage that of… a demon.

"Sebastian!"

The earl swung a gloved hand at the butler, slapping him across the cheek. The butler seemed to come to his senses, his grip loosening on the girl enough for her to finally claw free of his grip. She took no time at all in bolting down the street in terror, Sebastian staring wide-eyed after her.

"What the hell Sebastian!? I told you to let go of her!" Ciel yelled angrily, all too preoccupied to notice the men with guns also running down the street after the child. Sebastian however, was all too well aware.

"Master – do please forgive me. I will be back momentarily," he answered distractedly, eyes narrowing dangerously at the men turning a corner. Before Ciel could get another word out, his butler clad in black disappeared.


	3. Whisper of Hell

I fled from the man as quickly as possible, mentally cursing that he had wasted time that was precious for me to escape. The men chasing me were closer now, and I could hear them yelling vulgarities at me as they caught up. They wouldn't kill me - but if I was caught, they would surely punish me in their own way for all the trouble I caused. I didn't even want to imagine what they had planned for me.

"Damn you bitch! C'mere!" One screamed, right on my heels. He reached out and tangled his fingers in my hair, yanking me back as I let out a howl of pain. He kept a tight grasp on my hair as I thrashed about, using my nails to claw at him, and swinging my feet to kick him as hard as I could. I never stopped screaming, hoping that someone, some passerby would have mercy and attempt to interfere. But people were cowards - no help would come for me. And yet, I still hoped...

"Shut up! Shut up!" The man bellowed, forcing me to the ground and slamming my head against the cobblestones. The first impact sent a throbbing pain through my skull, and I could see stars flash before my eyes. The pain made me scream all the louder, and he continued to bash my head into the ground, even going as far to place his boot on my face and to grind it achingly into the dirt. Blood, snot, and tears mingled together beneath my head, matting my hair to my cheeks.

 _'I'm going to die... I won't survive this. I'm going – to die.'_

A searing pain suddenly flared up in my left shoulder blade and I began to writhed in agony, thinking I had been shot, but having heard no sound. The pain clouded every coherent thought, blocking out the men's shouts as they crowded around me, nearly blinding me. I could feel their booted feet violently kicking every part of my body that was exposed to them, but the pain was minuscule compared to what I felt at this very moment. It felt as if my flesh was tearing, as if something were trying to force it's way out of me, and my eyes began to burn. At the back of my mind, I could hear a chant, words that were burned into my very soul.

 _'Snuff them out, snuff them out, snuff them out...'_

Far away from where I was in my right mind, I heard a man screaming, and the pressure of the man's boot lifted off my face. Finding that I was no longer pinned down brought me half back to my senses and the fiery pain in my shoulder disappeared just as it came. I let out a groan of distress, my own moaning being drowned out by the sounds of the men's terrified screams. Why, why are they screaming? I heard a gun go off, and felt something white hot once again flare past me.

I couldn't even begin to drag myself away before I was scooped up in a whirl of motion, and something like a coat was draped over me as I was cradled in my rescuer's arms.

"Please hold on, my lady. I'll dispose of them right away," an unfamiliar voice whispered gently by my ear. I wasn't in the habit of trusting strangers, but the man that held me seemed to be my only hope, and in the state I was currently in, attempting to fight him off and escape was futile. I tightly grasped his shirt in my fist, squeezing my eyes shut against the blood and sweat that drip down my face. He supported my entire weight with just one arm, and while I was unaware of what was currently happening from underneath the tailcoat, I could hear the agonizing screams of my pursuers.

I felt sick as the man moved at an incredible speed, and it felt almost as if we were flying, although I was barely jostled at all. Finally, the last man pleading for his life was abruptly silenced, and I heard the man who held me let out an exasperated sigh. I began struggling to move, but he placed a hand on my back, keeping me still. "Not yet miss. It would not do for you to witness such an unseemly sight. Please, wait just a moment," the man stated.

Curiosity overpowered me through my suffering, and I wiggled my head up enough on his shoulder that the coat covering my face fluttered lightly, allowing me a glimpse of the blood and carnage that was splattered everywhere. I felt my stomach turn, and bit down hard enough on my tongue to make it bleed to keep from letting out a scream. I was once again enveloped in darkness, and the man kept me there as he walked calmly to another street, and finally set me down.

I was overcome with a sense to bolt as he steadied me on my own two feet, but knew with my injuries that I wouldn't get very far. He pulled the coat from my face and adjusted it so it hung around my shoulders, and I stared up at the face of my savior.

He was tall, handsome; long raven locks fell into his face, and scarlet hued orbs stared down at me with an unabashed hunger, and something else... His eyes scared me, and quivering, I took a wary step back. Partially, I blamed him that I had been caught in the first place. If he hadn't held me when I came bolting from the alleyway, I could have actually escaped with the head start I had on my kidnappers.

"Your injuries are quite extensive..." he mused, pulling out a handkerchief from his pocket and began dabbing at my face. I winced as he ran over areas that were already beginning to swell and bruise, and open cuts on my face that continued to bleed and puss. I could suddenly no longer hold down my nausea, and I pushed the man's hand away before turning and choking on bile that rose in my throat. The remains of a two-day old meal burned as it came up, and I coughed up that and what was left of any substance in my stomach before I began to dry heave. I was used to this feeling, used to throwing up after tests and experiments and being beaten by my captors, but never got used to the feeling nonetheless. It finally stopped, and I coughed and spat out what remaining foul taste was left on my tongue.

Turning my head, I expected the strange man to have been disgusted and left, but he still stood over me, slight concern written over his features. "It seems you haven't had a proper meal in a few days. It's no wonder I could feel your rib cage poking through those rags," he said, folding the handkerchief to a cleaner side and offering it to me. I took it cautiously, and sensing no threat from him, I began to dab gently at my mouth, wondering if he would later demand payment for a new handkerchief after its use.

"…Thank you," I murmured quietly, refusing to look him in the eye as I wrung the soiled cloth between my bloody fingers. The man smiled an absolute pristine smile I felt I had seen before at some point in time.

The man bowed slightly, his hand placed on his chest as he smiled down at me. "It was no trouble; what kind of butler would I be if I could not do such a simple thing as this? Now then…"

 _"Sebastian!"_

I flinched violently, my head whipping around to see who had shouted. A young boy, the same well-dressed boy I had seen with the man earlier was standing a few feet away, panting slightly with a terrifying scowl on his face. I took a few steps back, the butler's coat slipping from my shoulders and falling to the ground. The boy began to stalk towards us, his cane tapping angrily with each step closer. I turned tail to flee, but before I had even gotten a few steps, I felt a sharp pain behind my collarbone, the butler having somehow maneuvered in front of me and pressing his fingers behind bone and forcing me to the ground. I felt his arm wrap around me as I fell, and everything faded black.

* * *

"Who is she?"

The demon's eyes glowed as he looked down at the incredibly fragile creature asleep in his arms, and his brow creased slightly.

"I'm not quite certain myself, my lord."

The young boy scowled, irritation plain on his features. "You're lying."

"I am not, I assure you. I've never met this child before, however, her soul…" The butler trailed off, a terrifying expression clouding over his face. "Her soul – is a different matter. It belongs to a past master of mine."

The young earl was perplexed by his demon's words, and took a moment to examine the girl himself. Filthy and covered in injuries, she looked just like any street urchin he had seen running around London's slums. Her choice of clothing was interesting, but nothing to notable in his eyes. Sebastian had not left much of her previous captors to pinpoint where the girl might have been held as a captive, but it didn't really matter down. They were dead, and most likely burning in hell.

"How is that possible? Don't grim reapers collect the souls of those deceased? And if she was contracted to you, you would have devoured her soul."

"That, my young lord, is where the mystery lies. She died before our contract was complete, and it wasn't a reaper who collected her soul…" The butler trailed off, brushing the girl's hair from her face.

The earl scoffed, although his curiosity was piqued. "Well, let us head back to the manor. She can be treated there," the boy said, turning his back.

The black clad butler looked down at his young master, the hint of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Yes, my lord."


	4. Absence of Light

The overpowering scent of antiseptic invaded my senses as I slowly, but surely regained consciousness. My eyes watered as I groggily cracked them open, wincing as blinding light flooded my vision. Wherever I was, it was much different from the place I had been in my dreams. Weakly attempting to lift my hand to shield my eyes from the light the filtered in from somewhere, a horrid pain shot through my entire body. I cried out in shock, my entire form quickly falling limp as each and every limb cried out in protest from such a simple attempt at movement.

I lay panting, unsure and unaware of what events had transpired to leave me in such a wretched state. What was I aware of? Finally, my vision cleared enough to where I could slightly examine the room in which I was in; vast windows with curtains pulled back let in the streaming morning light, illuminating the room with a soft, subtle glow. I could hardly move my head without my entire body aching in protest, but I did what I could to continue my observation. I lay in a large, four-poster bed, and in front of it against the opposite wall sat a vanity table. A little to the left was a shut door, the only visible exit in the room. A massive wardrobe and multiple artworks decorated the wall opposite of the windows. Wherever I was, it was not my home, of that I was certain.

So…where was I? And how on earth did I end up in such a place? I closed my eyes, racking my brain for the last moments I could recall before waking in this room. Only…it seemed blank. Everything was…utterly blank. Why could I not remember? I knew for a fact this was not my home, not a room I knew…so where was my home? What did it look like? I tried to conjure up an image of what _home_ was, but my mind was left blank. I gave a withering sigh, opening my eyes and blinking against the harsh light once more.

Despite my unknown surroundings and the injured state I was in…I didn't feel as if my life was in any danger. If anything, looking down below the covers, I could calmly assume that whoever had brought me here had also bandaged the wounds currently on my person. It seems that for now, I would merely have to wait for my rescuer to come…then, perhaps they could answer my questions. But for now…

 _'Sleep… I need more sleep…'_

My eyes felt heavy, and before my lashes kissed, I had already fallen back into darkness.

* * *

 _The small figment of world she saw outside her window was covered in a veil of white. She stared out the frost covered window; bitter cold to her sensitive fingers as she softly glided them over. Her eyes burned languidly like light passing through crystal-clear water, golden hues reflected in the glass staring back at her. The old house creaked and groaned; wind rattled the windowpanes and echoed through empty hall, like ghosts calling from the grave._

 _She was waiting…_

 _Waiting, waiting, waiting – forever waiting._

 _Something in the house shifted; the lone girl turned, eyes focusing on the wooden door. The large skeleton key had been removed from the lock and lay on the small bedside dresser. She wasn't supposed to open the door when she was left alone. The door was always supposed to be locked. However today…it wasn't. She didn't know why. She was unsure what had prompted her to leave the door unlocked. For sixteen years she had always been taught to keep the door locked when she was left alone. Lock the door, don't open the door, and don't go outside._

 _Stay put._

 _Today…was different. Small footfalls could be heard as she padded over to the door. A pale hand wavered over the knob, quivering with uncertainty. She had to decide. Stay put, and nothing would change. Take a chance, a risk, open the door – and surely, nothing would ever be the same?_

 _The doorknob was freezing cold against her warm palm, the sensation feeling as if it was biting into her skin, a warning against her next actions. She took a deep breath…_

 _…and opened the door._

* * *

"P-Please, Mr. Sebastian! I can re-bandage her wounds! I-I-It would be most improper for a man to see a lady in such a state of undress!"

 _'Hm…? Who was talking? Why were they so loud? Please be quiet…my head hurts.'_

"Honestly Mey-Rin... If you insist, you can apply new bandages, just make sure not to jostle her too much," a man sighed, irritation lacing his words.

"O-Of course Sir!"

Someone put their hands upon me, and my eyes flashed open. I did not hesitate; my mouth opened and I let out a bloodcurdling scream, frightening the woman who had laid a hand on me. She jumped back in fright, letting out quite the startling scream herself at my abrupt awakening. Out of nowhere (or I suppose out of my line of vision), someone else approached and promptly clamped a gloved hand over my mouth, frightening me all the more. I thrashed in their hold, every part of my body screaming in protest.

"Now, now miss…" a voice cooed, most unsettling into my ear, "If you continue to thrash around like so, you'll reopen your wounds. Calm down." The man's breath was cool against my burning skin, and through hiccuping sobs as pain radiated through my body, I slacked in his hold.

"O-Oh no Mr. Sebastian! S-She's bleeding again!" The woman's voice rang out in a panic; observing her now through tear blurred eyes, I could see she was a red-headed girl who seemed to be in her mid-teens. Large glasses obscured her eyes from sight, and she wore a maid's outfit, typical of any servant girl.

I whimpered once more as I felt a pressing pain on my right side. I was adjusted in the man's grasp; he now cradled me against a single arm, his opposite hand reaching down to pull back white sheets that had been quickly stained red. Raven locks fell in his eyes as he peeled back a large bandage plastered to my side, revealing what I assumed had once been a large gash. It was sewed shut, but it seems some of the stitches that had not fully set had loosened during my tantrum. Blood seeped through the torn flesh, and the sight caused bile to rise in my throat.

The man sighed, his lips once again close to my ear. "Now look at what you've gone and done. You're still as troublesome as ever, my lady."

I craned my neck back to look into his face, tears streaking down my cheeks as pain surged through me. Garnet hues stared back at me, a look of exasperation on the strange man's face. His eyes left me quite breathless, which was a horrid thing to be at the moment. I turned away quickly, feeling as if something was lodged in my throat, and began to cough violently, my body wracking with each forceful hack. I had enough sense about me to cover my mouth with my hand, and out of nowhere felt something warm splatter on my palm. When the fit finally seemed to past, I looked through blurry eyes to see blood staining my skin. The sight sent a whole new kind of shock through me, and I could feel the darkness viciously tugging at my consciousness.

My last thought before it pulled me under…

 _'I'm dying…aren't I?'_

* * *

It seemed an eternity before I once again opened my eyes, and once again experienced that same discomfort as light flooded my vision, temporarily blinding me. Where was I? What happened? Unexpectedly, I couldn't seem to recall any events as to how I got here. Where…was here? I was lying in a large bed, staring aimlessly up at a ceiling decorated with ornate gold designs. I took a deep breath, continuing to lay motionless for a few moments. I couldn't recall why, but a thought in the back of my mind told me it would be unwise to make any sudden movements. My body did feel extremely stiff…it seemed I would have to go about this the more complicated way.

I began by wiggling my toes and moved up from there, increasing circulation…and most importantly making sure everything was still attached. Finally, I felt energized enough to brace myself, and slowly began sitting up. My arms wobbled under the weight I put on them, but using the bed as leverage, I was finally able to sit up completely. My back collapsed against the headboard in exhaustion, and I let out an exasperated sigh. What had happened to leave me in such a state as this? I looked toward the windows again, my mind for the moment, devoid of any answers.

 ** _Sophie._**

I blinked slowly as the word came to me…No, it wasn't just a word. It was…a name.

 _'Sophie…'_

A name – my name? I didn't know; I didn't know my name.

I sat still as a statue, my mind running over the name again and again. Who was Sophie? Was that…me? Was my name Sophie? It seemed the more I thought about it, the less likely I was to come up with an answer. Anytime I wracked my brain for any hint of a memory, everything began to hurt and grow fuzzy. I could feel the darkness lurking, always so close.

Always, always, always, always, always, always…

I blinked, my eyelids nearly sticking together. I knew what it wanted. It wanted me to succumb, to fall back into the darkness. I lightly shook my head, trying to rid myself of the growing exhaustion. Gently, but surely, I began to move. My legs shifted, and finally a few minutes later, I had them dangling over the side of the bed. Gently, I began to lower myself to the ground, until my feet landed on the plush carpeting below. I kept tightly hold of the bed, continuing to use it as leverage as I put my full weight on weakened limbs. My legs wobbled beneath me, and my arms groaned in protest of the strain I was putting on them as I began to move myself around the room. I kept myself stuck to the bed, moving myself slowly towards the door.

Finally, I reached the farthest corner of the bed and knew I had to let go. I took a few deep breaths before letting the covers that were tucked tightly escape my grasp. I moved forward by placing one unsteady foot in front of the other, my arms stretched out before me to brace against the vanity table in front of me in case I stumbled forward. I was making pretty good progress, before my feet tangled beneath me and I carted forward violently into the dresser. I grabbed the wood just as my legs began to give out beneath me, using it to support my unsteady weight. Finally, I could straighten to the point where I no longer felt I was going to collapse, and let out a sigh of relief.

My eyes wandered toward the mirror I stood in front of, widening at the reflection that stared back at me. Who stared back at me was a young girl – at least early teens I assumed – covered in bandages and dressed in a simple white night gown. Golden curls spilled over my shoulders and down my back, surprisingly not too tangled, despite my sleeping on the loose hair. Amber hued orbs glowed softly in the morning light, and soft pink lips pouted faintly. The nightgown I was wearing was quite loose on my form; I assume I had lost a good deal of weight while recovering from my injuries. Bandages were wrapped around every visible part of my body, and I assume under my nightgown as well. Porcelain skin was battered and bruised, ugly shades of purple and blue blossoming like sick flowers on my skin.

I didn't recognize the girl in the mirror. I stuck a hand out, the reflection copying my movements. Slowly, I pressed my hand against the glass, my eyes meeting the reflection's own as the glass laid cool against my palm. So this was…me. It had to be – right?

I turned away from the girl in the mirror, and began making my way slowly towards the door. Finally reaching it, I turned the knob, and the door opened to reveal a black-clad man standing before me. Startled, I let out a cry of surprise and stumbled backwards, and a gloved hand quickly shot out and grabbed me by my waist, keeping me steady on my feet. Once again, I was looking up at the man with entrancing scarlet eyes.

"Already on our feet, are we?" he inquired, a single brow arched as he peered down at me.

I stared back with wide-eyes, my hand clasping his arm that encircled me for support. A heavy silence hung between us in the air, before I finally regained enough sense to speak.

 _"S-Sebastian –"_


	5. A World Emptied

Sebastian stared down at the girl in front of him. He had been tending to her and her wounds for the past couple of weeks since he and his young master stumbled upon her, nearly on the verge of death after the beating she took and past poor care, and had the time to observe her closely as she slowly recovered. Still, observing her had given him no answers, and he was vexed.

She still hadn't gained any weight; on the contrary, she seemed to be losing more. They did provide her with food in her few bouts of consciousness, but she usually emptied the contents of her stomach on to the floor during the night. While she did still look quite weakened, it was obvious by the color in her cheeks that she had regained some of her strength most surprisingly. Yet still, humans were fragile creatures, and could easily crumble and slip through one's hands if they weren't careful. Sebastian knew this all too well, and did not plan on taking any risks with the girl.

Sebastian bowed slightly, his arm still secured around the girl's waist. "Forgive me, my lady. You're hardly in the condition to be out of bed quite yet," he stated, a polite smile gracing his features as he swooped the girl up bridal style. She gave a yelp of surprise, tiny fist instantly grabbing onto his shirt and clinging on to him for dear life. He carried her back to the bed and gently set her down, giving another reassuring smile to make her release the death grip she had on his collar. Hands quivering, she let go and scooted back until her back rested against the headboard, and Sebastian straightened up, fixing his tailcoat.

* * *

The butler placed me gently back down on top of the covers, before going back to the open door. I could see a small silver trolley out in the hall, tea and covered platter of food sitting atop it. My mouth watered at the sight, and my stomach let out a strange sound to voice my raging hunger. Sebastian gave me a look as he wheeled in the trolley, and I blushed sheepishly as I crossed my arms over my stomach.

"How long have I been in bed? I – can't seem to remember anything," I admitted as he came to my bedside and placed a silver tray on my lap. Unveiling the dish that sat on the platter, he revealed a soup that smelled just as heavenly as it looked. My mouth began to water, and I quickly picked up the spoon next to the bowl and scooped up a bite and shoved it into my mouth. The soup burned my tongue, and I sputtered and quickly swallowed, gasping for something to cool my aching tongue. Sebastian sighed and passed me a glass of water which I gulped down greedily, and gave a hefty sigh as I handed him back the finished off glass.

"Your table manners are deplorable my lady. We'll have to train you once you've recovered," he sighed, picking up the spoon from where I had dropped it on the tray. He let the spoon fill with broth before bringing it towards him and blowing on it lightly to cool it down, before offering it to me.

"Say _'ahh'_ ," he spoke softly, and my cheeks quickly flushed a notable shade of pink. I opened my mouth and allowed him to feed me, strangely feeling embarrassed, as well as uncomfortable. It must have had something to do with his eyes – the way he stared at me with those scarlet hues the color of wine and blood frightened me, and I didn't know why.

I ate in silence, obediently allowing the butler to feed me without much of a fuss. When I felt I could eat no more, I politely declined the next spoonful, seemingly much to his irritation.

"If you refuse to eat you shall hardly regain your strength, my lady."

"Well, if I continue to eat, all that delicious soup is going to end up in a disgusting pile on the floor. I've had enough for now," I answered truthfully. Everything they had fed me up until now I had thrown up during the night, so I wasn't trying to push myself to eat, even though I knew my body needed the nutrition. My throat already felt raw as I was sure it could possibly get from all the bile that rose during my fits.

Sebastian sighed and took the dish away, turning his back to me as he placed the dishes back on the trolley.

 _"And here you used to be such a glutton."_

 _Eh?_

It was so quiet I barely caught the words, but I was certain he said exactly that. "Um, excuse me?" I asked, thoroughly perplexed. I didn't understand his words – I had never met the man before in my life, so I could hardly register what he might be referring to.

Sebastian turned, a pleasant smile on his face that seemed quite fake to me. "I didn't say anything, my lady."

 _Liar._

My eyes narrowed as he began rolling the cart back to the door, and he turned to me one last time. "Your injuries still need to heal, so I'll leave you to get your rest. Merely call if you need something; I will always be near."

The door shut behind him, and I was alone once again.

* * *

I turned, my gaze wandering to the large windows that allowed the light to flood in. It was a particularly bright day, and the sun reflected off the leaves of the trees and washed everything in a soft glow. Staring out the window, I wondered about so many things – yet was unable to answer any of them by myself. I knew lying about would do me absolutely no good; on the contrary, it would probably bore me out of my mind. So despite Sebastian's clear instructions, I slid out of the bed once again and made my way towards the door. The food I had eaten had given me extra energy, and it was easier for me to get to the door this time, although my legs were still quite weak beneath me.

Reaching the door, I turned the knob, and the door opened to reveal an empty corridor. My head twisted left and right, waiting for something, anything. When all seemed content in the silence, I opened the door wider and slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind me. My nails nearly dug into the wallpaper as I used the wall to make my way down the hall, having absolutely no idea where I was headed. All I knew was that I needed to find someone…someone with answers, and someone who wouldn't confine me to a bed.

Who was I? What happened to me? Why was I brought here? So many questions filled my brain, but those were the top three that I had subconsciously deemed most important. All I had was a name to go on for the moment, although I was sure something else was there – it was just hazy. Perhaps I had a case of amnesia from when I got hurt.

Despite using the wall for support, I was quickly tiring out. My legs grew heavy as lead, my steps slowing to a halt. I slowly sank to the floor, sighing in defeat. It seemed I was too weak to move for the moment, and so I simply sat against the wall, staring up at the high ceiling above me, thinking of many things. The sound of footsteps drawing near captured my attention, and I turned my head to the left as a small figure approached. It was a young boy, dressed in fine clothes and an eye patch covering his right eye. If I had to compare from looking in the mirror earlier, we were about the same height. I obviously caught his attention, and he halted in his tracks, staring at me with a single blue eye. Dark, grayish blue wisps of hair fell in front of his good eye as he turned his nose up and looked down on me. I was hardly offended by the gesture; I suspect anyone would have the same reaction, had they seen one such as me in their home.

"You're awake," he stated, glancing me over.

I hesitantly gave a small nod, although it was obvious he was correct in his statement.

"Why are you just sitting there?"

"Ah…my legs – seem a bit too weak to carry me at the moment," I replied, the words spilling out clumsily. I felt extremely embarrassed all of a sudden and scurried to pick myself up. It took some effort to drag myself to a standing position, since the wall was a completely flat surface with nothing for me to grab on to.

The young noble sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Sebastian," he called out, and not a moment later, the black-clad butler appeared from the same direction the boy had come from. He merely took one look at me and gave a withering sigh himself, wasting no time in passing his master to swoop me once again into his arms.

I gave a cry of protest, but a single look from him took the words right out of my mouth.

"I believe I told you that you're not well enough to be up yet, my lady. Your health will only continue to decrease if you don't have proper rest," he stated, already making his way back to my room.

Sick of being treated like some child but someone I hardly knew, I glared up at him and said, "I'm sick of being in bed! I want answers!" I wiggled enough in his arms to look over his shoulder at the young earl staring after us, and my expression was so pleading that he himself gave yet another sigh before ordering Sebastian to stop.

"We might as well question her now, since she's awake," he stated, turning and ushering us to follow.

I struggled in Sebastian's arms, quite content to walk by now. He looked down at me, scarlet hues flashing as what I assumed by now was his signature smile that had a whole lot more of a sinister meaning behind it stretched across his face. "If you could please be still, my lady. It would be best for you to not waste your energy."

Despite his words, I got the feeling he liked to watch me struggle, and that reason alone promptly made me stop. He had been the one taking care of me it seems since I had arrived, and I knew you really weren't supposed to judge people too harshly on first impression, but something about him annoyed me, and not being able to pinpoint the reason made me quite bitter.

We followed the boy down the long corridor, and I was certain I caught glimpses of other servants running about. For such a big place, it was a surprise that there were not many servants. Sebastian had woven in front of his master and pushed a large door open to what looked to be a study, balancing me quite easily on a single arm. The boy entered and went to sit behind a large wooden desk scattered with documents, and Sebastian set me down gently in a chair opposite of him.

"Now then, miss…?"

"Um - _Sophie_. I think my name is...Sophie," I answered sheepishly, fiddling with the lace on the nightgown.

The boy gave a nod, placing his elbows on the desk and intertwining his fingers together as he stared at me. "I am Earl Ciel Phantomhive, current head of the Phantomhive household. And I'm sure introductions have already been exchanged between you to, but to formally introduce him this is my butler, Sebastian Michaelis," Ciel said, gesturing to his butler who now stood behind him. Sebastian placed his hand over his breast, giving a polite bow to me. Raising his head, his eyes seem to flicker for just a moment, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to rise.

"Now, pertaining to how you got here, you had dashed out of an alleyway around the East End and had run into my butler and I. You were being chased, and Sebastian disposed of the men pursuing you, but not before you sustained some injuries. You passed out later on."

A scene of blood and carnage splattered over dirty cobblestones flashed in my mind, and I felt my stomach turn.

"Now, do you know why the men were chasing you? They seemed quite relentless, and we thought maybe you had taken something that did not belong to you, but found nothing on your person that might indicate you stole from them." Mild curiosity shown in the boy's left eye, and Sebastian had the same expression of polite interest.

What was I to tell them? Attempting to remember what Ciel spoke of brought flickers, and already I knew that I did not wish to remember. I didn't want to remember – I shouldn't remember.

 _'Please...anything but that.'_

A flash of silver – a scalpel pressing against skin already slick with blood.

It was only the beginning. That single recollection was enough to open the floodgates, and the memories began to overflow like water over a dam. I did not scream, nor did I cry out. My body simply reacted on its own, beginning to violently shake, as if I was in past, experiencing each and every painful memory all over again.

A dark, damp cage. It was either stifling hot or freezing cold. The tattered rags that covered I wore were soaked with urine and dried blood. My skin had multiple cuts, bruises, open wounds and sores. My throat burned for even the tiniest drop of liquid, my stomach forever voicing it's need for food. My limbs were stiff and sore – I was poked and prodded beyond the point of going numb. My body was simply a sack of flesh – useful only for crazy experiments and abhorrent practices. My voice only came to me when they sliced into my flesh, my screams drowned out by the merry making of the adults that participated in these sessions that left me wanting to be claimed by death. I had watched many others suffer, I had watched many others die. But I did not – no matter how much I wished for death to take me, I survived through it all.

 _'But why? Why me?'_

My eyes burned and watered, and my breath caught in my throat. I took no notice of the alarmed expressions that both Sebastian and Ciel wore – I couldn't; I was blinded by my own nightmares. I needed to get out. I needed to get out, I needed air, I needed to be _free_.

 _Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go -_

I violently shoved back the chair I had been placed in, my fight or flight sense kicking in and sending adrenaline rushing through my veins, enough to give me the strength to flee across the room and out the study door. I listened not to the voices that called me back – I needed to get out.

 _'God, please, just let me out!'_

I ran blindly, every part of my body aching, but I didn't stop. I saw a long winding staircase and rushed down that, the fabric of the nightgown bunched up in my fists. The front door loomed ahead of me, and I yanked it open with enough force that I strained my arm painfully. I hardly registered it as I took off out the manor, hearing the voices of the servants call after me with unexplained worry.

My breath was ripped from me in painful gasps as I took off down the dirt lane, not knowing where to go, or why I was even running, but something, some force pushed me to as horrible memories flashed before my eyes. It seemed like they were going backwards – from my first waking up in that bed. The sleepless nights I endured as I writhed in pain, Sebastian rescuing me from the men, my escape from that dark place, the horrible torture I endured all those years – then it was all white. White snow outside a fogged window, white feathers littered around the room, a man, a woman, both with white hair, a gentle presence that was always there. I was still running. The childhood with those two, flashed through my mind, and then a burning pain seemed to engulf my entire being. I knew it couldn't be real, but the sensation made me stumble and fall to the dirt. I scrambled up, my eyes blurred with tears and my palms scraped raw against the sharp pebbles beneath me.

I ran again, and this time, I was engulfed in darkness. This should have been it, but it seemed to go on endlessly, and then once again, I could feel a presence near. It was familiar, yet alien at the same time. I couldn't see who it was in the dark, but I stretched out my arm, my fingers reaching, grasping at the air.

Someone encased my hand in their own, and finally, I stopped running. I was pulled closed, a hand wrapped around my waist; I fell against someone's chest. It was something solid to lean against, something violent and fierce and unmoving. Yet – it was also warm, and gave me a sense of security. Whoever this guardian of mine was, they would not hurt me. They would protect me from anything and everything. My life was out of my control now; I was giving it to this person, and hoping, knowing they would keep it safe.

I buried my nose in their chest and inhaled a familiar sharp scent of spices, feeling myself relax against them. Their arms easily supported me as all strength seemed to drain out of me, and I felt…at peace.

I raised my head to look up at my savior's face, and a pair of scarlet irises stared back at me.


	6. Like A Moth To A Flame

I was breathless.

For a single moment, it seemed as though time itself had stopped – and in that moment, my breath - and a small fraction of my heart was stolen from me.

Scarlet eyes - the eyes of a _monster_. His thinly veiled hunger was so pronounced, simmering just beneath the surface of his perfect façade. It seemed so familiar to me – but I could not recall a single time in my life when anyone had ever looked at me in such a way. And yet…why? Why did it feel like his eyes were calling me to him – and I desperately wanted to answer?

My heart began to pound painfully against my rib cage the longer I stared into his eyes, my head beginning to spin until I felt nauseous. I finally broke the connection as I closed my eyes and attempted to struggle out of his grasp.

"Let me go!"

"No." The smirk he wore was evident in his tone as his arm tightened around my waist, pulling us closer together. He leaned forward until I could feel his breath on my face, and for some inexplicable reason, my knees suddenly felt weak. A shiver went down my spine as I felt him press against me, until there was no space left between us. He trailed his fingers along my jaw, his touch coaxing a choked gasp from my lips.

"Look at me." His voice was a whisper; the simple phrase he spoke – soft - yet commanding.

I shook my head, beating my free hand against his chest as I feebly struggled in his iron grasp. If even possible, he seemed to tighten his grip on me all the more, until I was pressed flush against him, effectively trapping my left hand between our bodies. His gloved hand that encased the other tightened, until it almost felt as if he was trying to break it. I let out soft whimper as I quickly slacked in his hold, the slight pain an instant reminder of the pain I suffered at the hands of my captors.

Silence stretched between us; he wasn't moving away, and made no move to let go of me. He was so close I could feel the warmth radiating off his skin, the silken wisps of his hair brushing against my cheek. He was so close – _so close_...I couldn't stand it.

"Let me go, _please_."

* * *

Her delicate form was trembling in his hold, her eyes screwed tightly shut as she finally stopped struggling against him. Her voice was thick with unshed tears as she begged him to be released, yet he felt no sympathy.

" _Please_ , let me go."

A desperate _plea_ \- one, he knew, he would never grant her.

"If I do let you go, where would you go from here?" He crooned, his lips brushing against her ear. He'd be her voice of reason; she had always been so simple minded before, taking every suggestion he offered to her, blindly trusting that everything he did would always be for her benefit. She had always been so blindly trusting - _ah_ , that's probably what had killed her in the end. Her blind faith in the world and those in it; despite losing all she had, despite falling into a pit of despair that was so deep, she was able to summon forth himself - she had still been so _trusting_.

How foolish.

Sebastian pulled himself away from such long suppressed memories, his gaze studying the girl in his arms.

"Where will you go? With your ailing state, you'd hardly last even a quarter of a fortnight. You're still so vulnerable," He loosened his hold on her arm, reaching to lift her chin and brush away at the hair that fell in front of her face.

She had opened her eyes, and they were stark as she gazed up at him. The corner of the demon's mouth twists upwards, his smile conveying poorly hidden amusement as he stared down at her.

She's was so lovely, so fragile.

Those haunted eyes. Those rosebud lips.

Her teeth sunk down into the soft flesh of her lower lip to keep it from quivering as his tall frame bent down to draw closer; he trailed his fingers along her jaw, forcing her to look directly at him.

"How could I let you go? _How could I let you slip right from these arms that hunt for you_?"

* * *

That velvety, terrifyingly sadistic voice penetrated through the haze that had fallen over me, but his words kept me petrified. I could feel the shivers that ran up and down my spine spreading, until my entire body trembled in his hold. I was scared - scared of the man that suddenly wanted to keep me chained, like a dog on a leash. It was a type of fear I had never experienced before; I wasn't scared that he would hurt me...at least, something deep inside told me that he wouldn't. I did not have to fear him like I feared the ones who kept me prisoner and tortured me. No, I feared him because something told me that this was _wrong_.

 _He_ was wrong.

Being with him was wrong, was forbidden. Not even being by his side could be allowed.

But - why?

Why did it feel like just being beside him made me want to vomit? Why did I was to tear away every piece of my skin he laid his hands on? Why did he make me feel as if I wanted to die...if only to escape him?

He was wrong, he was forbidden, he was, he was, he was…

 _Unclean._

The thought was electrifying.

I ripped myself out of his hold with a force beyond my own strength, and his eyes widened a fraction as he stared at me now unbound from his iron grip.

He took a single step towards me, and I held my hands out in front of me, telling him to stop.

"D-Don't come near me!" I begged, completely distraught as dark thoughts swirled in my mind until I was far beyond confusion.

"Sophie," he crooned in a soft tone of voice, reaching out and offering me his hand.

I flinched back as he called my name, his voice dripping with a sweet poison meant to lure me closer. I felt my gut twist and bile rise in my throat.

 _'No!'_ I shook my head violently, confused. Why? Why only now do I feel this way? I didn't before - he saved me, he protected me, he kept me safe...so why? Why do I think of him as...as…

 _Unclean._

The damning word pierced my thoughts again, and I felt a violent shiver make its way down my spine.

"P-Please, stay back!" I begged him, feelings the sting of tears as they welled in my eyes. He at least granted me this request; taking a step back, he drew back his hand and regarded me thoughtfully, his face devoid of any emotion, although his eyes spoke volumes.

I couldn't stand to hold his gaze; I tore my eyes away from him, clutching at my chest as I shuddered, a pain far more than physical rolling off of my skin in waves. A choke and nothing more left dry lips as I began to cry, large teardrops rolling down my cheeks in a flood of misery and sorrow. I couldn't place what even prompted me to cry, but once I started, the tears wouldn't stop.

The faint hint of a melody resurfaced in the flood of memories and thoughts that swirled inside my head - the tune haunting and nostalgic. Along with its broken phrases it brought a dream, one long forgotten and suppressed beneath the depression and the anxiety that crippled me and kept me chained, even when I had not been held by shackles or cages.

 _'In the stillness of the shining sky, there is your home. Beyond the darkness, where the moon sinks, is a narrow path that leads you - back to the beginning ㇸ5'_

A distant dream - or perhaps, a memory?

I could feel a soft, warm wind caress my body, a sort of comforting darkness enveloping me. I was sinking, sinking into myself, and I could no longer see Sebastian standing in front of me.

I could hear someone laughing, the sound tinkling like bells in my ears.

Far off from where I stood in the darkness was a light; a weeping willow, with two figure sitting underneath. I took cautious steps forward, and the light began to dance around me as if I had stepped into a kaleidoscopic chamber. My body felt heavy and sluggish, my words inaudible as I called out to the two beneath the willow tree. The melody played over and over, the tune ringing in my ears as I chased after the two figures who only seemed to get farther and farther away.

 _Wait, don't go! Who are you?_

I could hear a woman humming the same melody that rang inside my head, her voice light and full of laughter.

 _'In the stillness of the shining sky is my backyard garden. Some day you will finally reach, the other side of the shore~ㇸ5'_

They were right in front of me. Two stuffed dolls sat perched neatly at the base of the willow tree. I crumpled to my knees and picked one up, handling it gently. A doll in a frilly blue dress, a smile stitched across her cloth face. My eyes flickered to the doll's counterpart; a male doll dressed in all black, with two red buttons for eyes.

I dropped the doll, a mere chuckle escaping my lips before I burst into full-blown hysterical laughter to the accompaniment of the melody. A white light began to enveloped me, seeping into me and burning me from the inside out. I writhed in agony, still laughing as tears flowed down my cheeks and the garnet eyes of the doll looked on mockingly.

When the light had enveloped my entire body, I screamed.


End file.
